


no matter how they toss the dice, it had to be

by firstlovelatespring, nerdyscully (dalecooperscoffee)



Category: Arrested Development
Genre: (sorta lol), Double Dating, F/F, Fluff and Humor, M/M, lesbianism is magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 16:03:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17206502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstlovelatespring/pseuds/firstlovelatespring, https://archiveofourown.org/users/dalecooperscoffee/pseuds/nerdyscully
Summary: Lindsay runs into Marta at one of Gob and Tony's magic shows. Somehow, she ends up going on a double date of sorts with the two magicians and Gob's ex-girlfriend. As she's around Marta, feelings start to blossom that confuse and scare her, but she knows she can't run from them.





	no matter how they toss the dice, it had to be

**Author's Note:**

> hi, dee (nerdyscully here). i can't believe this is my second time co-writing an AD fanfic! i came up with the idea of lindsay/marta on a whim, and sarah (driedflowers) was super receptive, so we decided to write this together! i had a blast writing this with her, and i hope you all enjoy it too! 
> 
> this fic is set after s5a, gob and tony are in an established relationship, and lindsay is looking for her bio family. also, the title is from "happy together" by the turtles (in the iconic lesbian film Imagine Me and You)!

“For my first trick,” Tony Wonder says, waving his hands dramatically, “I will make this dove gay.”

“You may ask,” Gob chimes in, placing the dove on his shoulder, “how can a dove be gay? Well, anything is possible with the power of gay love and _magic_!”

Tony takes another dove out of his flowing sleeve. It perches on Gob’s other shoulder, pecking at the fabric of his suit. Tony holds glitter in his hands like sand and blows it towards Gob. It falls on Gob’s suit and on the doves atop his shoulders. They sparkle under the lights and begin to flap their wings, flying off of Gob.

“Now every bird is gay!” Tony cries, and the audience bursts into applause. Marta claps from her table at the back. She’s been following Tony Wonder’s shows for years, but this new act is his best yet. Maybe it’s because he has a partner now, and somehow the fact that there’s two magicians onstage makes it more exciting. At first, it was awkward seeing _Gob Bluth_ up there; she used to date him, after all, and hadn’t seen him since the day he and Michael fought over her on the courthouse lawn. But now, she’s happy for him. He absolutely _glows_ under the stage lights when he’s next to Tony. His happiness is apparent, and infectious.

“That was amazing!” she tells the stranger across the table from her.

“Was it?” It’s dark in the club, so Marta doesn’t recognize Lindsay Bluth until she leans forward into the light.

“Of course! They make such a great pair—” Marta begins reflexively defending her favorite illusionists, then stops in her tracks. “Oh my God, Lindsay? I haven’t seen you in forever!”

“Marta?” Lindsay says. “What are you doing here?”

For some reason, Marta feels shy, but she smiles at Lindsay with sincerity. “I’m here to see Tony Wonder, of course! I’ve always loved his magic, and him and Gob make a great pair. Are you here to support your brother?”

“Oh, God, Gob is here?” Lindsay groans and throws back the rest of her drink. “Of all the gin joints in all the world, I had to step on a mine. I can’t even get away from my family for one drink.”

Marta isn’t really sure what she’s trying to say, but she nods sympathetically. “Did you just get here? You didn’t know Gob was going to be performing today?”

“I didn’t know Gob was—”

“Shhh!” Marta says. Tony and Gob are about to begin their next trick. Lindsay chuckles and rolls her eyes a bit, but turns her attention to the stage anyway. She’s not sure what’s going on—she never is when it comes to Gob’s magic. But he looks happier than she’s seen him look in years. She feels a pang of guilt for not being around much, and then she wishes she had another drink.

Gob and Tony end their trick in a kiss, and the audience cheers again. Even Lindsay has to clap.

The first few times Marta saw Tony’s act, she tried to talk to him after the show, but she’s learned it isn’t worth it. She’s become used to the crowd of how’d-he-do-thats that bombards Gob and Tony after their shows, chiefly made up of white guys in their early twenties. Tonight, though, she’s sharing a table with Tony’s boyfriend’s sister. She leans across the table, asking, “Hey, you wanna go talk to Gob and Tony? I’ve never been able to meet Tony, and I’d really like to! And I’m sure Gob would be happy to see you.”

Maybe it’s residual guilt, or the shine in Marta’s eyes, but Lindsay surprises herself. She doesn’t quite have the muscle memory to verbally agree to spend time with her brother, so she nods yes, and Marta grabs her by the hand. Lindsay has to laugh a little; even when she was dating Gob, Marta was never as enthusiastic as this. It’s sort of cute, and she’s surprised how nice Marta’s hand fits in hers. They manage to push their way to the front of the crowd, and Gob’s eyes widen when he sees his sister.

“Oh, hey,” he says to Lindsay, while Tony is looking in the other direction, signing autographs. “Uh, long time no see.”

“Yeah, well. I’ve been busy,” Lindsay says.

“Hey, Gob!” Marta says.

“Sorry, lady, I’m _gay_ . The _gay magi_ —” It takes a few moments for Gob to recognize who it is standing next to his sister, and when he does, he freezes up. “Marta? Is the magician in the— the— is the gay magician— in the seven hundred dollar— the—”

Tony’s grown to recognize when Gob starts panicking, and even over the noise of the crowd, he can tell something’s wrong. He looks over at Gob, who’s pale and stammering. “Hey, Gobie, what’s up, what’s wrong?” He looks the blonde lady up and down, then tentatively says, “This is your...sister, right? Lindsay?”

Gob nods, not quite trusting himself to speak yet. His life has changed so much in the past few months, and he’s really mostly okay with it, but this was completely unexpected. Lindsay, he could handle. But his ex-girlfriend from _years_ ago? The whole situation makes him feel uneasy, like he’s being confronted by the Ghost of Christmas (or girlfriends) Past.

“Hey, why don’t we go out after this? Us, and your sister and her girlfriend? Like a double date,” Tony suggests, to calm Gob down if nothing else. Tony smiles, but Gob, Lindsay, and Marta all gape back at him.

“Uh, babe, can we...talk somewhere private really quick?” Gob asks, knowing he can’t lie his way out of this.

Tony raises an eyebrow, but nods, because it seems serious. “Sorry, guys,” he calls to the crowd of fans, “We’ll see you next show, okay?”

Tony takes Gob backstage, and Lindsay and Marta follow. Tony wants to tell them this is a private conversation, but he also really wants to go on this double date, so he just frowns at them, and addresses Gob. “What is it?”

“Well, my sister’s not even gay!” Gob starts off.

“She’s not?” Marta says, taking a step away from Lindsay.

“I’m _not!_ ” Lindsay says, not sure how to take all this.

“Oh. I don’t know why I assumed she was. Sorry,” he says, looking over at Lindsay.

Tony and Gob continue to talk in hushed voices, but Lindsay tunes it out. She really doesn’t know what to think. There was Marky Bark, and before that was there was Tobias, and everyone was too busy yelling at her and wondering if Tobias might be gay to even ask her what she was feeling.

Lindsay’s never really considered the thought of being gay before. Of course she thinks girls are pretty. But everyone thinks girls are pretty. And of _course_ she wonders what it would be like to kiss them sometimes. But that’s normal, she thinks. She doesn’t think about being gay, though, why would she? Men buy her clothes, take her out to nice restaurants. She’s always liked that. But in terms of how they make her feel? She hasn’t had sex that lasted longer than two minutes in years. She _could_ be gay.

She’s snapped out of her thoughts when Gob turns to her and Marta again. “So, um, hi, Marta,” he says, properly addressing her this time. “It’s been awhile.”

“Yeah, it has,” Marta replies, “You did great up there, Gob, I always knew you were going to be a great magician with lots of fans. I believed in you.”

It’s not from his father, but he’ll take it. It makes Gob smile get a little choked up. “Oh, thanks Marta. You look good, by the way. It was really nice of you to come.”

“Well, I’ve been a fan of Tony for a long time.” She chuckles a little. “I was surprised when you started performing with him. Maybe not that surprised. It explained a lot.”

Tony grins at Marta’s comment. “Thank you, always nice to meet a long time fan. Wait, what do you mean it explained a lot?”

“Gob used to play magic tapes, when we made love. Usually they were his own, but sometimes yours. That’s how I learned about your act,” Marta admits.

Tony tries so, _so_ hard not to laugh, but he laughs anyway. “What? You never told me that, Gob.”

“Well, why would I?” Gob laughs nervously. “Gay, much, right? Oh, wait…” He turns to Tony with a tenderness in his eyes Lindsay has never seen before. She feels like she should look away.

Lindsay clears her throat. She loves her brother, but not that much.

“I know a great place nearby,” Tony says. “I’ll drive. It’ll be nice to catch up, right? And I’d like to know more about Gob’s past.” He says the last part in a mostly teasing way, but Gob still shoots him a dirty look. Though, when they start making their way to the parking lot, and Tony takes his hand, the tenderness returns to Gob’s eyes. This is a man in love.

Tony pulls into the parking lot of Swappigan’s, and Lindsay considers calling a cab home right then and there. “Are you broke or something?” she asks Tony, and he looks offended by the question.

“No, they just have good food here. Why do you ask?”

“I guess I just can’t imagine anyone eating here if they had the choice.”

Tony laughs and shakes his head. “You really are Gob’s sister.”

They go inside, and Tony swaps a never-ending handkerchief for eight chicken wings, no celery. Lindsay pitches in for some ranch, trading a pack of gum she had in her purse for it. Vegetarianism is another thing she doesn’t miss from her days with Marky Bark.

Marta looks for something to trade for some French fries, deciding on a tin of breath mints. Once the waitress has their order and walks off, Tony starts with the questions. “So, how long ago did you and Gob date?”

“A long time ago,” Marta says. “My sons were so little, they were always scared by his illusions.”

Tony smirks at that. “Gob, you scared her kids?”

“I didn’t _mean_ to,” Gob says. “I guess my magic looked too real. How old are your kids now, anyway?”

“One is in high school, one’s about to be,” Marta replies, then chuckles a little bit, “God, I feel old.”

“How old is your daughter now, Lindsay?” Tony asks.

Lindsay laughs. “I don’t have a daughter!”

Tony gives Gob a confused look. “Then who was that girl I met who said she was your niece? Were you tricking me for some reason?”

“Oh, you mean Maeby. My daughter,” Lindsay says. “She’s, uh. In college.” Lindsay hopes no one asks which one.

Marta furrows her brows as she tries to remember when she might have encountered Lindsay’s daughter. “I think I met her once, when she was young. She has lots of freckles, right? She is a beautiful girl. Just like her mother.”

“Thank you,” Lindsay says.

“And how is your husband?” Marta asks, frowning.

“I don’t have a husband!”

“Oh, did you guys finally divorce?” Tony asks.

Lindsay almost slaps her forehead at how clueless she feels. “Oh, right, Tobias. No, um, we’re just...separated. I think.”

Marta relaxes visibly.

“So, Marta,” Gob says, picking something out of his teeth. “You really have a type. Me, Michael, Lindsay. Who’s next, Buster?” He looks very confused as to why no one else is laughing.

Marta touches her cheek, wondering if she’s as red as she feels at the suggestion that she likes Lindsay. “Do you think I am flirting with your sister, Gob?”

“Are you?” Lindsay asks. This night is weird enough already, she might as well just get to the point.

Marta pauses. “Do you want me to be?”

“I don’t know!” Lindsay says. She really doesn’t want to be having this conversation. Not in Swappigan's, not with her idiot older brother, not ever. But she keeps talking. “I’m not gay. I’ve always _admired_ women, but that’s normal! It was just because I was raised around so many boys, I wanted a strong female figure in my life.”

“Homo much?” Gob says.

Tony nudges him. “Don’t be rude,” he says. Gob makes a face like a child that’s getting scolded.

“It’s not an _insult!_ And anyway, even if she isn’t gay now, maybe she just hasn’t realized it yet! I mean, look at me! I realized I was gay when I was forty-fi... _I mean_ , you know. Later in life.”

“Is that supposed to be a joke about my age?” Lindsay frowns. “Or are you just that bad at math.”

“No! I would never make a joke about how you’re _almost fifty._ ” Gob says, and Tony nudges him again, even harder this time. It doesn't work. “Marta, I didn’t know you were into older women.”

Marta forces a laugh. “I didn’t know I was into women at all, really, until recently.”

“It would make sense, after dating Gob,” Lindsay says dryly. “Did he ever tell you about dressing up in Mom’s blouses?”

“Because they were good for magic tricks, duh.”

“Sure they were,” Lindsay says. Wait. What did Marta just say? Was that what all this was about? Maybe her actions tonight had been more than friendly, but they don’t seem so different from, say, a run-in with Sally Sitwell. Is that supposed to mean _she’s_ gay for Lindsay now, too? She feels her face heating up, remembering how Marta had smiled at her so warmly. She’s a beautiful woman, for sure, even now. But Lindsay doesn’t like her like that, because she doesn’t like women like that. At least she doesn’t think so. _Where the hell is our food?_ she wonders, feeling impatient and antsy all of a sudden. You get what you pay for.

Marta tries to take away from the awkwardness of the situation, turning to Gob and Tony and asking, “How long have you two been together? You make an adorable couple.”

“Since Cinco de Cuatro,” Gob answers, at the same time as Tony says, “Since the second of July parade.”

Marta raises an eyebrow. “So...which one?”

“Well, we had sex for the first time on Cinco, but I guess that doesn’t count as like, the start of our relationship,” Gob shrugs.

“TMI, Gobie.”

“My thoughts exactly.” Lindsay makes a face.

Gob scoffs. “Everyone knows we’re banging, c’mon!”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t need to think about it,” Lindsay says.

Gob glares at her. “If I didn’t know you were secretly gay, I would take that as very homophobic.”

Lindsay doesn’t believe in God, but she finds herself thanking him when the waitress brings their food. It doesn’t even look appetizing, but it’s something that will shut Gob up, hopefully. She doesn’t even bother to correct Gob, just rolls her eyes and takes a chicken wing.

“So,” Gob says, with a mouth full of french fries, “Are you still in that Mexican show?”

Marta chuckles softly. “ _El Amor Prohibido_? No, not really anymore. It’s still going on, because those kind of soap operas last forever, but my character was written out. I asked for it, though. I wanted to spend more time with my sons.”

Lindsay can’t help but smile at that. “I’m sure your boys are lucky, to have you as a mom.” It’s physically difficult to say something this sweet, but Marta’s been nothing but nice to her tonight, she might as well return it.

“Do you seriously not hear yourself?” Gob says before Marta can even thank her. “One word: you’re— Wait, that’s two words. Two words: You’re gay.”

Tony gives Gob a stern look. “Gob. Come on, leave your sister alone. This isn’t gonna help anything.”

“It’s fine,” Lindsay lies, “I’m fine with being the only straight person at the table. I’m very progressive, and I’m not homophobic. That was part of my campaign, I polled really well with the Gay Republicans of Southern California.”

“All five of them?” Tony asks, then stops himself. “Sorry. That was mean.”

“It’s fine. But there’s more than five. Just so you know.”

Gob clears his throat loudly and stands up, his chair scraping across the floor. “Tony, don’t you have that magic thing now? We should go.”

“We just had a show— Oh.” Tony and Gob exchange a significant look. “Yeah, I forgot about that thing. Um, we have to run,” he says to the two women. “I’m really sorry we couldn’t stay longer. I hope we can meet again soon! Maybe for another double date.”

“It was great to meet you, really!” Marta says, giving Tony a big, genuine smile. “I hope you continue to make Gob happy. He deserves it.”

Marta and Tony keep smiling at each other, while Lindsay and Gob look uncomfortable. Lindsay doesn’t think there’s enough years left in her life to spend away from her mother to undo _that_ emotional damage, and she has a feeling Gob would agree. Gob whisks Tony away, pulling him by his hand and whispering in his ear.

“I honestly can’t believe they’ve been together for this long,” Lindsay says when they’re gone. “I mean, no offense, but most of Gob’s relationships didn’t last that long… like his and yours.”

“I think Gob was much different when we dated. I mean, he’s still Gob, of course,” Marta laughs a little. “But I don’t think he was a very happy person when we were together, for a lot of reasons.”

“The gay thing, right,” Lindsay says.

“That, yes, but other things, too. He was so competitive with Michael, always trying to win your father’s approval as a magician. It weighed on him.”

Lindsay’s not sure if she’s ever had such a frank conversation about her family, ever. And Marta’s not even a Bluth. “I guess that’s true. I never really noticed. I was too focused on… other things.” She knows that she was focused on herself and only herself, but she’s not about to admit that. “I mean, Tony does seem to make him really happy. And he keeps him out of trouble. So in the end, I guess I’m glad.”

“I hope you can find someone who makes you so happy,” Marta says, smiling sadly. She places her hand over Lindsay’s on the table for a moment before standing up. “I should go.”

It’s been a long time since Lindsay’s thought about her own happy ending. Tobias, Marky Bark, every guy before them—it was never about being happy. It was about having a date to the dance, or pissing off her parents, or just _rebelling._  But tonight has been different. Lindsay isn’t doing any of those things, and yet she doesn’t want Marta to leave. She never pictured herself with a girl, maybe because she thought it would be just another thing for her mother to ridicule her over. But then again, she considers, Gob probably never pictured himself with any guys, either.

“Wait!” Lindsay says. If she can’t be brave now, what are the odds she’ll see Marta again soon? Ever? That isn’t a risk she’s willing to take. “We should...do something together, sometime. Get coffee, or see a movie…”

“Lindsay Bluth, are you asking me out?”

Lindsay looks away nervously. “I— I don’t know. Maybe? I’m still not sure, to be honest.”

“That’s okay. We can see what happens,” Marta says softly. “I’d love to go out with you, and do anything.”

“Just not another magic show,” Lindsay hedges.

Marta laughs. “Okay. That’s fine by me. You have my number, don’t you?”

“Yes. From when you were dating my brother, and then my other brother.” God, Thanksgiving is going to be awkward. _God_ , she’s thinking about a holiday that’s months away!

“Maybe I _do_ have a type,” Marta says. “Alright, text me whenever, okay?” Marta leans down to kiss her on the cheek.

“I will.”

And Lindsay does. But not before she’s texted the Bluth siblings group chat: _Can I borrow the club card? I need to take Marta out on a nice date_ : _)_

The only reply she gets is from Michael: _HER?_

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! xoxoxo


End file.
